I’ve had many role models in my life, and humbly, a few have taken me as their role model. In some cases, it has been something formal like a mentorship, but in most cases it comes about naturally. We all choose role models and aspire to follow in their footsteps – it’s how we learn and grow as humans. No amount of insular study will prepare you for the world in the way the simple guidance of another can. For everything we find written and recorded can not replace the experience of another. Life is built upon it. Even academics are based upon it – where as you progress to higher and higher realms, we are placed under the individual supervision of one who has come before us. The most important aspect is that a role model is not one who teaches you those principles recorded from generations prior, but rather guide you through the aspect that aren’t recorded and only taught through the school of hard knocks.

No one signs up to be a role model and no one can be trained for it. Even in the cases of formal mentorship or supervision. You can be some one’s mentor without being their role model. The only way we have any expertise in it is because it is profoundly simple; you just do what you do. Being a role model is inherently passive; we learn the most important lessons in life not when we’re taught them but rather when we see them in action. I think everyone who has mentored me knows what they’ve tried to teach me, but little do they know just how much I’ve learnt from them.

The beauty of it is that we never know in advance what we are going to learn from our role models. We don’t even know what we want to know. We’re often pulled to these people because of some aspect of theirs that we’ve seen, be it success, their interactions, their strength, their integrity – whatever it may be, we’re pulled towards them and become perceptive to the very habits that they consider natural. Because of this connection, we try to emulate them – we try to become them. What we forget in the middle of all of this is that they’re human and their actions are not for the purpose of our emulation – they’re for the purpose of living their lives. We put them on a pedestal and treat them as perfect even though we know logically that this can’t be the case. We create roles for them that they don’t even know about and derive offense when they don’t fulfill them. In some cases we ignore their shortcomings, and in others we move onto other people to emulate. We do this because we see some aspect of ourselves in them – that they’re the perfected version of us in some way and we can’t bare to see them as human in that respect.

But they are human.

Our role models will fail our platonic vision at some point, and sometimes they’ll even fail themselves. One of my darkest moments was when I had both failed myself and those that had looked up to me in one fell swoop. At that time, what gave me the strength to move forward was seeing those faces and having the tables turned on me; they reminded me about aspects of myself that I had forgotten amidst my devastation. I was grateful to them, and still am, as they taught me lessons I will not forget. I learnt that it’s not the degree of success for which I choose my role models, but rather their strength during the struggle and in the face of failure. At that dark moment I was afraid of my image being diminished in the eyes of those who had placed their faith in me, but I was reminded of my persistance that has rarely failed me. The pedestal I thought I had been knocked off was never the one that those kids placed me on, and to them, I was a success.

To those of you who have been my role models, knowingly or unknowingly – thank you. Thank you for those things you’ve taught me, but more importantly, those things you’ve shown me. I have learnt from the best and hope that I can emulate you with the strength and integrity that you’ve always shown me. 

To those of you, those I know and those I don’t, who have ever or ever will take me as a role model, know that I’m human and recognize my mortality and flaws as they are. I’ve made many a mistake (and orchestrated a handful of full-on disasters) in my life and will make many more. I am not particularly qualified to be a role model other than by being a kid chasing his dream. But please take from my successes and learn from my failures. That is all I can ask.

Mubdi